(The power of the recommendation of something that is so good, you actively don't want to recommend it)

When you have a secret, other people don’t like it if you don’t share that secret with them. They feel alienated.

On the other hand if you do share a secret with someone, they feel privileged.

When someone says someone is a good friend, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve had to donate a kidney to you, it often means that they have just been really helpful to you.

One of the best ways to show your friendship is to let people in on a secret. If we forget the type of secrets that will earn you thousands of pounds in the News of the World, the next best kind of secret is the secret place that you find – it might be for a weekend away or a holiday villa – but one that you just don’t want to tell everyone about, for fear of making it too popular.

Those recommendations are very special and you sort of enter into a secret pact not to tell anyone else about it.

It’s not like recommending Virgin Media for broadband (if you live in a fibre zone) or recommending North Face waterproofs ( because they are the only ones that are truly waterproof), this is about recommending something that is in limited supply. When it comes to hotels or villas or a restaurant where you can always get a table at the last minute, your selfish side doesn’t want to spread the word too much about how good it is. But as a sign of true friendship, there is nothing more powerful.

Lovethis.com is the place for such a secret – only your friends will see it.

Of course, if you have recommended the ultimate place to conduct an illicit affair, posting it up on Lovethis.com, may not be the wisest thing as it could get just a little embarrassing, but any other recommendation is likely to go down a storm with your friends.

Secrets are very powerful.

James

P.S. Read the latest thoughts from LoveThis Founder, Alexis Dormandy...

One of the truest cliches is that, when it comes to fashion, men and women don’t understand each other.

If you ask a member of the opposite sex for a recommendation on which of the latest fashions you should buy, chances are you will get a lukewarm response akin to asking an anarchist whether they enjoyed the royal wedding.

To generalise even further, women like to shop in the company of other women, they love to try lots of things on and are eager for the opinion of others in helping them make their decision – it is a social occasion rather than a practical exercise to find things to wear. Men tend to get frustrated if they can’t find what they want within seconds of walking in to their chosen shop and definitely do not want to get the opinion of their mates as to whether they should buy something or not.

In fashion though there is so much choice – even if men tend to want to buy a newer version of what they are currently wearing – so how do people make their choice?

The average high street is stuffed full of shops offering seemingly unlimited fashion options, yet window shopping is only one means of deciding what is going to make it in to this season’s wardrobe.

A mass of newspapers and magazines report on fashion with glee and in lots of detail. Editors of fashion magazines are celebrities in their own right. The gossip magazines are as much about fashion as they are about gossip.

In short, fashion is incredibly important.

Also important are recommendations. Particularly given the bewildering number of options available. The Telegraph has introduced an I-Spied section on its website, which is effectively a tiny online shop, with the journalists pick of the day, or week's, items. You can also find these recommendations on LoveThis. Quality vs quantity.

Even better is to get this type of expert advice and the advice of your trusted friends, which of course, you can get from LoveThis. Just don’t ask your boyfriend or your husband, even if they are a trusted friend.

James.

P.S. - The rest of the LoveThis team share their thoughts on the social recommendations space at blog.lovethis.com

When you explain the purpose of LoveThis, most people nod in appreciation of the potential benefits. 'That’s clever...nice idea...I like it' is a typical response.

However, if you sit next to someone filling in their first recommendations, you will see a really animated response. People really like to share their knowledge and once they’ve shared one recommendation , they want to share another ...and then another.

So could LoveThis become a replacement for less healthy cravings? The scientific answer is probably ‘yes’.

The simple act of giving a recommendation is probably the easiest way of achieving a feeling of self-worth. Self-worth, according to Wikipedia, is a basic human need and requires constant reinforcement to maintain a high level of self –worth. One of the realities about living in the rat race is that chances to reinforce your self-worth are few and far between.

So giving recommendations is good for you.

Clearly what’s even better is if you are looking for something and you can find a high quality recommendation really quickly and easily. But it’s not so addictive is it?

Thankfully with LoveThis, you can give and receive.

P.S. - The rest of the LoveThis team share their thoughts on the social recommendations space at blog.lovethis.com